I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
