i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize