o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
