Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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