What a fucking waste of an outfit
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
