I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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