after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
