I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize