no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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