Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
