we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
