the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
