so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
