god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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