I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
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