No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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