Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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