I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize