So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
