so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
