is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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