oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
