BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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