yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Everyone says I win the strip club
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
