He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
All I want is dick and wine.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
