Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
