i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
