So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
