But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
