that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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