New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
