Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
