Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I cannot find my penis.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
What a dumb baby whore.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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