I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
