can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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