Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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