The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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