My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
