with your own penis?
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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