Can i not drive my cunt home
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
