p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
