im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you traded sex for a burrito?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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