Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
