is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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