There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
