there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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