i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
