im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
