Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
a search helicopter?!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Randomize
