so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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