Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
