I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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