i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
