Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize