I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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