I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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