Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
