God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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