Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
