Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
