A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
