i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
