my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
