she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I want to be your penis for a week.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
