love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
