lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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